Divorce or separation can be difficult, especially when you have children. There are plenty of questions to ask and other factors to consider, So, who will be the one to take care of the children? Where would the children live? Can you stay in the family house? When can your children see the other parent?
According to research, children of divorced parents find it easier to adapt to changes when they can spend quality time with both parents in a continuous and relaxed manner. Of course, there are exceptions to this. For instance, if a child feels anxious or scared of visiting one of their parents, then it’s crucial that you hear out their reasons and prioritise what they feel.
This is why it’s important that there can be a flexible routine of time-sharing so you can adjust and adapt to your children’s needs, and make room for both parents’ schedules. With that being said, here are some tips on you can make co-parenting work after a separation.
Understanding Co-Parenting
Co-parenting is a coined term that describes a parenting relationship in which a child’s two parents are no longer romantically attached but nonetheless share joint responsibility for their child’s development.
In a co-parenting arrangement, both parents agree to set aside their personal differences in order to create a parenting plan that is in their child’s best interests. Coparenting partnerships that are healthy usually entail regular communication and shared responsibility for your child’s care, which can be difficult to maintain when a relationship ends.
However, if you and your former spouse can manage to put your disagreements aside, your child will benefit greatly from a successful co-parenting relationship.
How to Make Co-Parenting Work? 
- Open Communication With Your Ex
It is critical to keep each other updated about schedules, developments, and events that have or may have an impact on the children in order for the relationship to work. According to Psychology Today, ex-partners must keep each other updated about all the changes in their life, as well as any problematic or difficult circumstances. It’s critical that you don’t make your child the source of information.
If your ex doesn’t communicate well with you and avoids you, consider talking to a family lawyer from Parramatta law firms. This might be best for you.
- Don’t Speak Poorly or Negatively About Your Ex
According to many experts, since your child is made up of both you and your ex, badmouthing your ex will be internalized by your child. What you say about your ex will affect how the child reacts to him or her, as well as how they think about themselves. Remember, even if you are angry with your ex, your child still loves him or her as a parent.
- Don’t Think of Your Ex As a Horrible Parent
Recognize that a terrible partner does not necessarily imply a horrible parent. Your ex may have made you insane but even if he or she was not a good partner, he or she can still be a good parent. In most circumstances, it is definitely best for children to have frequent and consistent contact with both parents. Even if your marriage didn’t work out, your parenting can still flourish.
- Be a Balanced Parent
When your children are with you, stop being the fun father or the cool mom. This will just backfire once they return to your ex – it sets in motion a cycle of resentment, antagonism, and an unwillingness to obey rules for everyone involved. Having a healthy dosage of fun, structure, and predictability while co-parenting is a win-win for everyone.
- Avoid Holding a Grudge
Instead of getting angry, discuss the problem. If something about your ex’s co-parenting is bothering you, don’t stay silent. When communicating, the ideal strategy is to make your child the centre point. Avoid finger-pointing, remember, open communication is important.
- Remember That Your Ex Loves Your Child
Parents love their kids. The child wants and needs to feel the love of both parents, for better or worse. Keep in mind that while your kids are with your ex, they are with the one person on the planet who loves and cares about them as much as you do.
- Be Realistic With Obligations and Schedules
Parents often make excessive custody demands after a separation or divorce out of fear or insecurity. It doesn’t have to be this way. Rather, consider custody as a business transaction. Do your best to remove your emotions from the equation and focus on the facts.
- Never Involve Your Children in Conflict
Avoid putting your children in a situation where they will be exposed to conflict. Putting children in the middle of your adult problems has been shown to increase emotions of powerlessness and insecurity, leading to children questioning their own talents and abilities.
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